On careers, cultures, book writing, & getting things done
Part 2 of my answers to our first ever "Ask Alison Anything"
Hidy ho!
You’re catching me in a good mood today because:
I’m traveling to San Francisco to do a fireside chat about Likeable Badass with a rockstar group of women alums from UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School, including several that I taught almost 15 years ago!
Although I’m taking the redeye home (ugh), it’s still a day trip so this photo captures most of what I needed to pack today. PSA - we should all be drinking lots of water. I aim for a gallon a day, and this is the maiden voyage for my new water bottle!
In other news:
I’m on Instagram! I’m 5 posts in and I have essentially no followers. In fact, I even lost a follower yesterday - I didn’t realize I could turn people off so quickly. If you like me or pity me, I invite you (read: beg you) to follow me. I’m gearing up to do a lot more candid video and day in the life stuff, hoping to complement the information you get from me in other places.
The book page of my website is taking shape! I have new endorsements, pre-order bulk bonuses, information about speaking engagements and book donations, to name a few. I invite you to check it out if you haven’t been there ever (or in a while). And while you’re there check out the fun facts at the bottom of my About page (which people always seem to enjoy).
This is part 2 of my answers to the great questions you posted. Thanks to all who wrote to me after part 1 offering to introduce me to more collaborative videographers, based on my complaints about mine. For better or worse my videographer is my 12-year old son, so he’s not easy to fire. I appreciate that this community is looking out for me!
In this post, I cover:
Tips on book writing
Diagnosing and building good work cultures
Overcoming a high power, low status situation
Post-achievement careers
Following through on your big ideas
And in case you forgot from last time:
I did a mix of video and written responses, just to keep it interesting.
I paraphrase the questions for brevity, and answer each separately so you can choose to read/watch only those that interest you.
Off we go!
Question 1: How to find your voice as an author
Katie asked how to balance writing what you want to say with the desire to please your audience.
I wrestled with this constantly as I was writing my book, as I assume many do. I have lots to say on this topic, but to be clear I am about 80% through the process of publishing one book. The only thing John Grisham and I have in common is that we are published by the same imprint. Fortunately, much of the advice I have to offer was given to me by brilliant people who have much more experience in this process than I do, so I have confidence in my suggestions.
First, everything you write should be in service to the reader
If the reader doesn’t need to know it, then cut it.
This game-changing advice came from my amazing editor (who hates when I name her, so we’ll just call her MBF - her initials, although My Best Friend would also be apt)
Second, a good book is a conversation with the author when the author is not around
The reader does want to get to know you, what you believe, what you care about, what you had for breakfast, etc.
Whenever I was stuck, I would imagine myself on a literal couch talking about these ideas with a specific woman I know - one who I identified as my prototypical reader - and would type out our dialogue.
Another mic drop from MBF.
Third, stop thinking you’re so unique
If you find it interesting, other people will, too.
This gem came from the inimitable and prolific Dan Pink (who also wrote a gracious endorsement of my book, for which I will always be grateful).
Fourth, you can’t edit things that haven’t been written
When I write my next book the number one thing I will do differently is crank out the first draft faster. I spent WAY too much time negotiating with myself and editing before getting feedback. I was trying to make it perfect the first time, which is an impossible standard.
Just write the damn thing as best you can, and then show it to people you trust. In addition to my fabulous editorial duo at Penguin Random House I also hired a wonderful developmental editor who would help along the way, including offering advice on half-written chapters.
So Katie, and anyone else who is contemplating a book: I see you and you’ve got this. There will be dark moments, but push through. And send me a signed copy when it’s published!
Question 2: How to diagnose and build good work cultures
Dawn and Lisa asked about how to figure out the truth about a company’s work culture before you accept a job there and how great cultures are built.
Here are the Amazon links to Unreasonable Hospitality and The Friction Project, both great!
Question 3: How to recover from a low status powerholder situation
Meg asked about how to rectify this situation in your current role and how to avoid a similar misfortune in the future.
This question came in response to a prior post I wrote about status, power, and gender. In short, having power (control) while lacking status (respect) is a recipe for misery, and women often suffer this fate more than men.
Let me start by giving a virtual hug to anyone in this situation right now, especially Meg. I assure you it doesn’t have to be this way forever.
The first thing I would do is assess your current situation. Is your lack of status about you or inherent in the position?
For example, there’s a reason we often get snarky at the DMV or airport security - these are positions with a lot of power and relatively less status. Our reaction isn’t about the person in the role, but about the role itself. If this is the situation you find yourself in, there’s not much you can do to change your experience. You’d be better off searching for a new position that was more respected.
If you think that people respect the role, but they don’t respect you in the role, this can be changed—but it takes time and consistency. Think about someone who you initially didn’t respect but who eventually won you over. This didn’t happen overnight. So don’t expect you can change how someone values you in an instant. The best thing you can do is to look for as many ways as possible to add value to your audience in ways that showcase your unique skills (volunteer to take on a task where you’ll excel, make an introduction, pass on some crucial information, make a person look good in their boss’ eyes, etc). Do this consistently and they will eventually come around - but it will take a while.
Because of the effort involved in changing perceptions, I’ve found that many low status powerholders do find it easier to get a fresh start by switching roles (which may explain why senior women are running for the exits in many companies, as I talked about in my post - now you’re almost curious enough to read it, right?)
If you do start fresh, the advice is the same it’s just easier to execute.
Avoid, if at all possible, a position or title that is not respected in the organization.
From day one, look for every opportunity to show people that you are capable and that you care. That’s the surefire strategy for building status. The good news is that because your reputation is a clean slate in their eyes, adding value just a few times is all it takes for that person to code you as someone they respect.
Cheering you on, Meg!
Question 4: Who’s allowed to call themselves “post-achievement”
Cathy was inspired by this WSJ article on “post-achievement careers,” and wondered what level of professional or financial success was required to self-adopt this label.
I have a strong, and short, POV on this.
Question 5: How to follow through on your big ideas
Macy asked for tips for an overachiever who is better at thinking up great business ideas than executing on them.
When I was a new graduate student I would think of more research ideas than I could possibly pursue. I’d push on one for a while, but inevitably I would encounter a roadblock. Never short for a new idea, I’d cast the current project aside (quickly labeling it a failure) and pursue the next one. This pattern - start new project, struggle with new project, abandon new project - continued for the better part of a year until I realized: Too many idea and too few ideas lead to the same result - no progress. At that point I understood that I had to develop the discipline to push on fewer ideas longer, even when challenges arose. This doesn’t come naturally to me, but here is what has helped over years of practice:
Give yourself permission to say no
I got this gem from a home organizer I worked with over a decade ago. Rather than always feel guilty about that pile of books in the corner or the disorganized state of the pantry, give yourself permission to say “that’s not my priority right now.” This frees up your mind and conscience to focus on the goals you do want to achieve. This is also one of the main takeaways from Essentialism by Greg McKeown, which is a good and fast read.
I make a list of 1-3 big goals that I want to tackle in the coming year and I keep it on my desk so I see it every day. At least once a week I ask myself how I’m doing on those goals and if the answer is not favorable I will start thinking about what things I can give myself permission to say no to so that I can refocus on my goals.
Carve out time for deep work
If you haven’t figured out already, this is my biggest soapbox. You can’t accomplish big things working only in the 15 minute breaks between meetings. When I was writing my book I checked myself into a hotel in Chicago (where I live) several times - I needed to eliminate all of the inevitable interruptions that come from working from home in a family of five. Although you don’t need a hotel to do deep work, you do need to find your own way to focus on the hard stuff.
Do the hard stuff first
Every productivity expert says the same thing - get up, make your bed, and then tackle the hardest items on your to-do list first. When I make my work list for the day, I order it based on importance, then on unpleasantness. I decide on two things I must accomplish (the most important and unpleasant) and force myself to do them before I can work on the rest.
When all else fails, use the five-minute strategy
Some days I just don’t have the energy to tackle the difficult things. When that happens I go the opposite route and think of the easiest thing I could do that would move me closer, even by a millimeter, to my goal. Ideally, I find something that takes less than five minutes to complete. When I couldn’t think of book writing for one more minute, for example, I would search for a reference or do some text formatting - something mindless, easy, but still necessary. Those small efforts do add up over time.
And that, my friends, brings us to the end of our first AAA…almost. There is one more question that I’ve yet to answer on how to navigate career achievement and family planning as a new mom, but I’ve decided that needs its own post - so stay tuned.
Going forward, Ask Alison Anything will be for paid subscribers (as advertised). And I’m going to change up the process. Rather than making you wait for answers while I batch them, I’ll be addressing them as they come in. I’m hopeful that gets people the info they need when they need it.
Til then, I’m wishing you high power and high status in a great work culture where you accomplish big things so you can move on to your post-achievement career.
Cheers to success, friends!
