Here's The Secret to Retaining Women:

Don't just promote them, respect them

I’m still away on my “family trip.” I hadn’t necessarily planned to write, but decided to for three reasons:

1. It’s week 2 and I’m maxed out on relaxation. For the sake of time with our kids, we take longer trips when we can. But my husband and I agree that our ideal vacation length is one week. After that, we both get restless to return to work and our boring middle-aged routines. To be clear: I’m not expecting sympathy for my two weeks in the sunshine, just letting you know how I’m wired.

2. A lot of new subscribers have joined since I last posted—we’re now more than 1000 strong—and I felt a desire to say Welcome! I’m very glad you’re here! You’ve only missed two posts (which you can read in the archive), so you’ll be caught up in no time.

3. One of my goals is to do a better job commenting on events in the news when I have a perspective to offer. Just as I was heading out, one such article crossed my desk.

So here it is…The Upper Hand, Hawaii Edition

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The story and the punchline

The article that caught my eye is a Wall Street Journal report about female bankers leaving Goldman Sachs in newsworthy numbers, despite the firm’s stated commitment to recruit and advance more women.

You may have seen it. If not, spoiler alert: it’s not a feel-good piece.

It’s also not new. Across companies and industries, high-ranking women who have seemingly “made it” have long been fleeing for the exits. For example, according to the Women in the Workplace 2022 survey, conducted annually by LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Co, for every one woman promoted to a senior leadership position in 2021, two quit.¹

What caught my eye and inspired me to write is something that is noted in every one of these stories, but never discussed outright:

The quickest, most surefire, way to get someone quit is to make them a low-status powerholder.

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What’s a Low-Status Powerholder?

I’m glad you asked. It’s someone who has more power than status.

What’s the difference between power and status?

Another great question.

Your status is how much you are respected and valued by others.

Your power is your control over resources.

So a low-status powerholder is essentially someone in a position of authority who isn’t respected by those around them.

I’ve been studying power and status for twenty years, and much of that work has looked at the experience of low-status powerholders.

In short, power without status is a recipe for a miserable life.

Study after study, we find that low-status powerholders are uniquely mistreated—just ask anyone who works at TSA or the DMV. Low-status powerholders suffer the most workplace incivility and harassment, which are essentially forms of psychological torment.

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How Does Gender Fit In?

I’m loving these questions!

Gender is what psychologists like myself call an “ascribed status characteristic”—group memberships unrelated to skills or achievements that are associated with different levels of respect.

On average, as you probably know, women have less status than men.

Which means that…

Women, more so than men, are at risk of becoming low-status powerholders as (or if) they advance in their organizations.

If you read the WSJ article or the Women in the Workplace report, you see clues that this is what is happening. Companies have given some women a little bit of power, but not respect, which results in these women being mistreated—their work is devalued, their judgment is questioned, they’re undermined behind their backs. Until—surprise—they can’t take it anymore, and they leave.

This is not a problem limited to one organization.

It’s an epidemic. And we need to stop it.

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Is There Any Good News in This Post?

Fair question, this has been quite a downer so far.

Yes, I do see reason for optimism.

I believe that many companies are unintentionally creating low-status powerholders—many of whom are women—simply because their leaders don’t understand the science.

But once you do, you can start to recognize it when it’s happening and—even better—prevent it.

Specifically, as leaders we often see it as our problem to pay everyone equitably, and to promote diverse talent—as we should. That is, we have assumed responsibility for giving other people more power.

But anytime we give someone more power, we set them up to be a low-status powerholder—unless we put forth equal effort to boost their status.

One of the most important things any leader can do is make sure that all the people who are worthy of respect are getting it.

That isn’t always easy—leadership never is—but it’s definitely achievable, once you set it as a standard.

But wait, there’s even more good news.

No matter your gender, race, age, appearance, or any other characteristic, your status is very malleable—you can change yours.

So even if we are in an environment where other people aren’t helping us be valued, we can help ourselves.

Giving women practical, easy strategies to get the respect they are due, and reap all the rewards that follow, is at the heart of most of the work I do—whether I’m giving a keynote speech, talking one-on-one with a woman seeking support, or offering unsolicited advice here.

And it’s also the subject of my forthcoming book, Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

LIKEABLE BADASS is a science-backed playbook for getting the respect, power, and influence you deserve, even when the odds are stacked against you.

So if helping women live their best damn lives is your jam, then stick around and watch this space. We will have lots of fun together.

And while you’re at it, invite some friends to join us:

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What’s next?

Doing 17 loads of laundry and vacuuming sand out of every suitcase.

But once I tackle that:

• I’ll launch a thread for the first edition of Ask Alison Anything—you submit questions and I answer them. Going forward, this will be for paid subscribers only. But the first one will be for everyone. Substack is pretty intuitive, but there’s still a learning curve and there’s a 63% chance I’ll mess something up on my first try. So I figured it would be best to fail in the most public way possible. If you have questions for me, this will be the perfect time to pose them!

• I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned from negotiating at airports and the networking tips from a grumpy old man.

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Cheers to success, friends!

1. https://www.mckinsey.com/~/media/mckinsey/featured%20insights/diversity%20and%20inclusion/women%20in%20the%20workplace%202022/women-in-the-workplace-2022.pdf