Announcing the Likeable Badass Challenge
Your one-month program to getting the respect you deserve
I am not a New Year’s resolution person.
By the time I survive a year of work and singlehandedly pull off weeks of holiday joy for my family (along with my middle child’s birthday in the mix), my only resolutions come January are to a) sleep, and b) yell at someone no more than once a day.*
Thankfully, I read an article a few years ago that led me to a better approach: micro-resolutions.
Instead of making a yearlong commitment, make a change for a shorter period of time - like a month or a week - and see how it goes.
[If you want to read the initial article that inspired me, the link is below. Before you click, though, I’ll warn you that the article includes reference to the author’s weight loss system which, if you’re like me, will pique your curiosity. Once you click on that story link, you’ll spend 15 minutes reading his interesting and motivational take on setting health goals - all very positive and thought-provoking, just warning you that you may be late for your next meeting. With that said, you can read about micro-resolutions here.]
Immediately after reading the article, I set about making a series of week-long resolutions. The most memorable one was my attempt to stay off screens in front of my kids. At the end of the workday I would shut down my computer and leave my phone in another room. If I wanted to check my phone I had to get up and walk to it, out of sight of my kids. I had mixed results. I didn’t check my phone any less, but I did get a lot more steps in that week!
Although that particular one didn’t stick, I love micro-resolutions because they are not lifelong commitments. They are experiments. And experiments are what I most love about my research - the power to change one variable, see what happens, learn from it, then change another variable.
Experiments not only allow us to precisely identify cause and effect, they also make change less daunting. You don’t need to commit to something forever, you just need to try it a few times and see if you like it.
Micro-resolutions are great for trying out new phone habits and fitness routines. They’re also great for finding your favorite ways to build status.
Since the launch of Likeable Badass, I’ve been overjoyed with the notes and comments I get from readers who are finding their own authentic ways to convey Assertive Warmth - the magic recipe for getting the respect we are due.
I also receive an equal number of questions about how to get started or how to overcome a challenge, such as:
How do I grow my network as an introvert?
How do I get more comfortable with self-promotion?
How do I build confidence and quiet my inner imposter?
How do I, as a Black woman, assert myself without being labeled aggressive?
The specifics of my answers differ, but the fundamental advice is always the same:
Building new relationships and getting more status in the relationships you already have doesn’t need to be a full-time job or require you to do things you despise. But it may require you trying some new approaches to see how they work for you, and micro-resolutions are a great way to do that.
For example:
Strike up a conversation with one stranger a day.
Accept all compliments with a simple “Thank you.”
Give advice or help to one co-worker a day.
Ask one person to talk you up each day.
The options are endless. In the book, I give lots of suggestions in the “plays to practice” at the end of each chapter. Start with one of these or come up with your own.
It doesn’t matter what you try, it just matters that you try.
If you like your new habit and get good results, stick with it. If you hate it or it’s a disaster, you can ditch it in favor of another experiment next week.
So if getting the respect you deserve is on your 2025 vision board, here’s my challenge to you: identify FOUR micro-resolutions to try for one week each in the coming month.
I’ll be doing it, too. Although I don’t have all four selected yet, I do know two of them so far:
Making one video a day for Instagram - I’ve chosen to be on Instagram as a way to introduce myself to a new audience of women, especially women younger than me. But I haven’t been serving this audience as much as I would like. As an introvert, I like writing to my audience but I find making videos a little stressful. So I’m going to practice and see if I can get in a rhythm.
Asking for advice once a day - these days I’ve been doing a lot of mentoring, but haven’t been receiving as much mentoring as I should (and as I preach in the book). I feel that I’m in a feedback vacuum, but I don’t have the energy or bandwidth to hire a coach right now. So I will be recommitting to my model of fractional mentorship by seeking out advice from a diverse group.
Have a goal and not sure what to try? Post a comment here and we’ll use the collective wisdom of the group to help you out.
Want to report on the success (or failure) of a micro-resolution? Share your results with the group and we’ll celebrate or sympathize with you!
My latest:
Live Ask Alison Anything Zoom
I’ve been experimenting with the best way to answer questions from paid subscribers (one of the perks of subscription).
Following the lead of my fellow Substack authors Annie Duke and Samara Bay (whom you should be following if you’re not already), I’m going to host a live Q&A on zoom to talk about whatever you want to talk about - micro-resolutions, negotiating for a raise, writing a book, your favorite Golden Girls episode, you name it.
It will be Saturday, March 1 at 11am ET/8am PT.
I’ll send out the Zoom link the day before.
Don’t have a question? Come anyway just to say hi and meet some other awesome women.
Not sure what to wear? Come as you are. I will be guaranteed to be in a baseball hat and athleisure.
Can’t make it? Assuming technology cooperates, I’ll post the recording afterward.
Not a paid subscriber yet? That’s a solvable problem.
Hope to see you there!
Cheers to success, friends!
*I’ve also ditched Dry January in favor of “polish-free January” where I remove the nail polish on my hands and feet for a month to allow my nails to breathe. I highly recommend it - the same feeling of achievement with much less effort.
Love the advice getting. Never thought of that before. What’s first on that list? Inquiring minds.